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Teen relationships: can be wonderful or disastrous!
Welcome to Teen at Relationship Steps! The advice covered in this relationships theme includes:
* Are your relationships wonderful or disastrous! There are many challenges faced: romance, parents, peer pressure, dating, rejection, self-confidence, yet they get through, somehow!
Relationships are frustrating, often in the extreme. Coping with their own and parents high expectations. Often the pressure is unbearable from many directions, that just coping is difficult. Romance and relationships, often by definition do not run smooth. For teenagers, this especially problematic. Self-doubt arises, why do I feel awkward? Why do I lack confidence to ask someone out? Why is dating so difficult? Why do some of my friends find this so easy? Do relationships suck?
Are they really having a good time? Why do friends who are in relationships fight all the time? Do they lie about having a great time? There are no rules to follow in relationships. You need to make it up as you go along!! Rejection? Why do I keep getting rejected when I ask someone out? Am I asking the wrong person for a date?
No matter how old you are, romantic relationships fail because they seem to make no sense. They are not rational. Is it me who is the problem? Live with it! Often you are asking the wrong person! You have to live with who you are. The world is not populated with potential partners just waiting for you to call.
Live with it. It is part of the reality of life. Not every male is tall, dark (or blond)and handsome, and equally not all females are drop-dead gorgeous, blond, brunette or redhead. This can be a potent and uncompromising mix. It is also life threatening in some more extreme circumstances. Teens who feel, or who have been, neglected will seek solace. This usually happen as a result of some trauma in their lives. Especially in situations where parents divorce, or teens have been abused either mentally or physically. They will seek to escape the lack of a guiding parent through contact with others who find themselves in a similar position. They try to fill the gap, an emotional vacuum caused by lack of parental guidance and love.
The trauma in their lives becomes like a festering sore. There is no cure, only temporary relief from the symptoms. This area is covered off with a series of links to other sites, including Recoveries Anonymous. Whether you are over-weight or under-weight, be happy with yourself! Avoid the fad diets! Being overweight too has its own problems if you are a teenager. Fad diets to reduce weight ignorantly, also lead to health risks. Such diets with rapid weight loss are mostly promoted by exaggerated advertising claims.
But the diets results are not usually stainable over longer periods of time. So what is lost is regained later. There are always exceptions to this rule, of course, and such people are put forward in advertising campaigns as role models to emulate.Those that aim for a lifestyle change, incorporating the more sustainable change of diet plus regular daily low-impact exercise, usually produce more enduring results. If you have reasonable people skills and lots of people like you, the odds of your success will increase. If you are self-confident, but not overly-confident in yourself, your chances of success will also rise.
Learn to recognize the basic signals in communicating. People give signals when they like each other (and when they don’t). Teens are often not skilled at recognizing such communication signals because they are new to the game, and lack experience. Learn to look at people when you are talking to them. Body language gets easier to recognise when you are looking and observing. So many people look away, often because they are shy and lack confidence. As your experience builds and your observation skills grow, you will begin to see these signals everywhere, and respond to the situation. You will make mistakes but that's part of the game of building experience. Learn from Adults! Yes they can even help you sometimes! Observe adult communication, and the more experienced teens for that matter. "Small talk" is what breaks the ice, when communicating. Observe that when adults meet they will often start by talking about something innocuous like the weather or sports results? Now ask yourself, why do they do that? It breaks the ice, small talk leads to other more substantial conversation. Be prepared. Don't meet with someone and have nothing to say! Practise with your friends Practise with your friends, and people that you are comfortable with. Then you can build up to full and meaningful conversations. Even a lot of adults are not adept at the art of good conversation. It is normal to feel a little awkwardness when talking to someone that you do not know. But practising makes it all a little easier each time. So you confidence grows with practise. After a while you will feel confident talking to most people. Teen relationships in retrospect. We all go through the teen phases - some more easily than others. In retrospect, we all miss it, fun and no real pressure. A comfortable time with no major responsibilities, apart from studying for a future that we did not see too clearly.
So enjoy the good times, wherever and whenever you can!
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