Forgiveness: Not the step that you think of first when your happiness and love life are both shattered!
Certainly we all find it difficult to think of rebuilding another relationship, when our lives are in pieces, both at home and with family.
But once the initial pain subsides, it’s something that we need to work at if we are to move on with our lives. It is not easy to achieve!
Can we have love without being able to forgive a former lover?
Consider the following quotations, and reflect:
Eric Hoffer: "The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We f.orgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves."
Hillary Rodham Clinton: "In the Bible it says they asked Jesus how many times you should forgive, and he said 70 times 7. Well, I want you all to know that I'm keeping a chart."
Lord Chesterfield: "Wrongs are often fo.rgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever."
Nathaniel Hawthorne: "It is to the credit of human nature, that, except where its selfishness is brought into play, it loves more readily than it hates. Hatred, by a gradual and quiet process, will even be transformed to love, unless the change be impeded by a continually new irritation of the original feeling of hostility." from The Scarlet Letter
* Why do we find it so hard to f.orgive? * Why do we blame each other and respond so selfishly? * Why does hate manifest so naturally? * Why does our pride serve us so badly? * Can you forgive yourself and rediscover another love relationship? * Can you love more than you hate? * Can you leave revenge behind and take the path back to forgiveness?
These issues are tough! Talking helps..., but you need to focus first on getting your life back together. Are you then also able to do that with a former lover?
Beneath the basic issues there are more fundamental matters to be addressed!
* It is natural to forgive, but more difficult to say I'm sorry.
Sidney and Suzanne Simon: "F.orgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves."
Sir Francis Bacon: "We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends."
Has resentment and a long-term grudge stopped you re-entering a relationship with a former friend?
* Do you find it impossible to f.orgive? * Can you meet the challenge of forgiving? * Do you know what you need to do to renew that previous relationship? * Are you spontaneous in your desire to makeup with a former lover? * Do you recognize that it will only take one small step by you to reconcile?
What is lasting f.orgiveness? Why is it important to our well-being?
Reinhold Niebuhr: "Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone. Therefore, we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own; Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is f.orgiveness."
* Relationships need give-and-take to survive each day together! * Frustration thrives by not ignoring trivial issues! * Help each other with forgiveness! * You both need to work at saving your relationship! * Show respect for each other in everthing that you do! * Without trust and love..., you will have nothing together!
What are the dimensions of f.orgiveness?
* Unconditional love! * Contentment and giving, not just taking from others. * Peace of mind. Optimism. * True f.orgiveness cannot happen without love! * Things will go better for you...with your friends or family. * Making others and yourself happy!
"If f.orgiveness is divine, then most of us are less than saintly. But forgiving those who hurt you can bring a sense of personal peace that we can't experience when we refuse to let go of a past slight. Besides, it's healthier..."Steps to F.orgiveness: Learn how to let go of grudges by Shana Aborn
But how do we take steps with others to f.orgive and get on with our lives? "F.orgiveness: Prescription for Health and Happiness."
This ground breaking approach offers insights into the healing powers and medical benefits of f.orgiveness. Dr. Fred Luskin offers a powerful method in which the emphasis is of letting go of hurt, helplessness and anger while increasing confidence, hope and happiness. Through these powerful techniques individuals can learn how to release unwanted hurts and grudges and open themselves to happiness, peace and love.
Refer for additional details provided by Dr Luskin in "Nine Steps to Forgiveness" in the references provided below at page end.
* F.orgiveness is something you have to do for yourself. * Only you can reduce your anger levels! * Take a step to be less angry and help yourself each day! * Think about what makes you happy, it reduces your stress levels! * Recognize that life's many twists and turns are normal! * The journey you make to f.orgive someone is worthwhile! * Relationships depend on your capacity to f.orgive your wrong-doer! * Talk through the hurt together with a close friend! * Your long-lasting happiness depends on such effort by you!
Is a close friend the wrong-doer? Has this friend deserted you?
* Basically you feed hurt, sad and resentful! * Your friend has let you down badly! * But you can be happy again if you want to be. * It takes time to learn that f.orgiveness is the answer. * But this does not mean that you forget the wrong-doing! * But you do move forward with your life! * You take the first step, rather than wait for an apology. * Taking this step first, will make you feel better within yourself! * You will again appreciate the friendship you had before. * Your anger will go, you will again feel a better person inside!
Blink
Del.icio.us
Digg
Furl
Google
Simpy
Spurl
Technorati
Y! MyWeb
